The Meaning of You
by Lady Henrietta
Summary: Season 3, after The Son also Rises: Dr. Cottle has bad news for Laura, but he wants Bill to tell her. AdamaRoslin


Disclaimer: Battlestar Galactica belongs to Ronald D. Moore and the Sci-Fi channel. The lyrics are from Celine Dion's "Seduces Me" from lumiere29's montage.

The Meaning of You

Adama looked out at his quarters and then to his hatch. She would be there any moment and he still had no idea how to break the news to her.

Cottle had called him down to Life Station under the pretext of discussing his last dental exam. "Doc, I don't have time for this," Adama had told him as he stood at the doorway.

"We've got bigger problems. Sit down," the crotchety doctor had instructed.

Adama walked in and sat down in a chair in Cottle's office. The doctor handed him a file marked "Roslin, Laura" and he looked up at the other man. "Jack, what's this about?"

"Turn here Bill," Cottle instructed.

The admiral did as he was told and his stomach hit the floor as he realized what he was reading. _It's not fair. Deities this is so unfair_. "How… long… does she have left?" he managed.

"I think we've caught it to where it's actually treatable this time. She needs to come in for regular treatments once a week," Cottle replied.

Bill slowly closed the file and laid it on the doctor's desk. "Why tell me?" he questioned, slowly making eye contact.

Cottle took a look drag from his cigarette. "I thought it'd be better if she heard it from you than me. If I had to tell her again, I think she'd try to airlock me before demanding a second opinion."

_Everything you are  
Everything you'll be_

The other man had yet to stand. _First Kara and now Laura? Why do I keep losing the people I care about? I need her, deities I need her. I'm getting too old for_- his musing was interrupted by Cottle clearing his throat.

_Touches the current of love  
So deep in me_

"You'd better go," Cottle reminded. "And tell her that I want to see her tomorrow."

Bill nodded and stood slowly. As he walked to the door he felt a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, old friend," Cottle conveyed.

_Every sigh in the night  
Every tear that you cry  
Seduces me_

He sat at his desk waiting for her. His ears perked up as he heard the hatch opening. Standing, he walked over and opened the door to let in the president. She smiled up gratefully and slipped inside as he closed the hatch behind her. "How did your day go?" he began.

She slipped out of her shoes and tossed her jacket over an arm of the couch, rubbing her neck. "Long. The Quorum meeting ran two hours over and we still haven't completely resolved the union issue. At least I'm not as sore as I would be. I made it to your gym this morning and managed to loosen up a few things."

Stepping up behind her, he gently placed his hands on her neck. "Perhaps you'll let me help with the rest?"

_All that I am  
All that I'll be_

A contented sigh escaped her lips. "I think that would be acceptable," she gave in easily to his ministrations. "Mm, why didn't you tell me you knew how to do this before? I think I should have an executive order that after every meeting, the president is to have a neck rub."

_Means nothing at all  
If you can't be with me_

He chuckled and it felt good in that moment. _You don't know how selfish I am by doing this. I need to touch you, smell you, be closer to you. I don't want to lose you, but it doesn't seem to matter what I want_.

She noticed his silence. "Admiral," she said. Getting no response, she tried the other name. "Bill? Bill, is everything alright?" she inquired. _What in the universe is eating him this time?_

_Your most innocent kiss  
Or your sweetest caress  
Seduces me_

He stopped and they faced each other. _Lie to her_. "Of course, why wouldn't-" he had to stop in mid-sentence, buckling under her scrutiny. _I haven't lied to her before and I'm not about to start now_. "Laura, how are you feeling?"

The shift in questioning worried her as her brow furrowed. _What is he hiding?_ "I'm a bit tired these days, and sore from such long meetings, but I've been worse. Are you alright?" _Deities, if he tells me he's sick_-

He held both of her hands in his. "Laura, let's sit down."

She followed his suggestion and they sat on the couch, her eyes never leaving his face. Without warning his hands left hers, his arms wrapping around her, drawing her close to him so that he could smell her hair. She put a hand on his chest and backed him away enough to look him in his eyes.

"Bill, you're scaring me. What in the name of Kobol is going on? Is it about Kara? You don't know how much I wish I could take your pain away," she tried to draw an answer from him tactfully.

"It's not Kara," his gravely voice relayed. "I met with Major Cottle today."

Laura's face lost its color as she eyed him with concern. _This isn't happening. I can't bear to lose him, not now_. "What did he- gods Bill, are you sick?"

The look she was giving him ate at his emotions even further than the conversation with the doctor. He was unable to block a few tears, which worried her even more. Somehow he found his voice. "It's not me," he rasped, placing a hand on her cheek and stroking it gently with his thumb. "He told me… he showed me your medical file because he thought that you should hear it from me. He said… gods I'm so sorry Laura, your cancer's back."

It felt as though he had thrown a glass of cold water at her. She jumped out of his arms and off the couch, shakily running a hand through her hair. _Oh why? Why now? Not again, deities, not again! Maybe Jack's wrong, maybe… no he wouldn't be wrong about this_. She paused in her musings to look back at Bill. _Thank you deities that it wasn't him_. "At least if you're not sick, the fleet is still in good hands," she mentioned quietly.

He stood and walked over to her. "He said that it looked treatable. He wants to see you tomorrow and then once a week," Bill explained, extending a hand to her.

She looked lost, as if her feet would give way at any moment. Instead of just grabbing his hand, she wrapped herself around his arm and pressed her forehead to his shoulder, as she had done before her debate with Baltar all those months ago. This time it was not to restrain herself from laughing, but to hold onto something more solid than herself. He wrapped his free arm around her waist and guided her back to the couch.

After the initial shock had worn off, she began crying, and he had expected it. She cried quietly, hot tears drenching his sleeve as her body shuddered slightly. He cried too, glad that she could not see his face. Nothing mattered anymore except holding her. And then she extracted herself and stood up, straightening her blouse and skirt.

"I should go," she informed him with quiet resolve.

"I wouldn't object to you staying," he added.

She eyed him suspiciously and he could see the look of pure irritation in her green eyes. "That had better not be pity because if-"

He could not let her finish. "I was going to make an offer anyway. And if I couldn't find you guest quarters, I'd let you have my bed and I'd take the couch, just as long as you stayed nearby."

Smiling sweetly at his suggestion, she put her shoes back on and replaced her jacket. "I need to tell Tory."

Walking her to the door, he cleared his throat. "How about dinner tomorrow? I know all we've got to eat is algae but-"

"It's fine. I'd be happy to share dinner with you, Bill," she interjected before leaving. His quarters felt almost icy after she had left.

On her walk to the Raptor, she wrapped her jacked around herself more securely, trying to fend off the chill from leaving his quarters. As she set foot on Colonial One, Tory stepped over to her with several files in hand.

"I'm so glad you're back, Madame President. The Picon delegates are complaining about the water rationing again, and here's the newest report on the Sagittarians. Oh, and Chief Tyrol requests-"

"Tory."

"a meeting about the Union. He's asking for-"

"Tory."

"and before I forget, here is the-"

"Tory!"

At this third attempt, the aide looked over at her boss with concern. "Yes Madame President?"

"Please have a seat. There is an important matter that I need to discuss with you," the other woman began. Tory nodded and took a seat. Then the president continued. "My cancer has returned and I am to report to Life Station in the morning. I want my schedule cleared until after 01100. As for the press, I will tell them on my own time," Roslin explained.

Tory stared in shock, digesting the information until finally she spoke. "Does… does the admiral know?"

"Yes," was all that the older woman disclosed.

On the following morning Laura found herself heading toward Life Station with a sickened feeling of dread. She thought once more of Bill Adama finding out first and his concern for her gave her enough courage to step through the door. Cottle looked over at her and issued her over to a more private area. After examining her and deciding on a treatment plan, he offered her a glass of water.

"Thank you," she stated.

"I wanted a word before I let you go," he began. "Whatever happens, you should tell the Old Man how you feel about him. I've known him for a lot of years and telling him is better than not telling him."

"I don't want to hurt him any more than I already have," she relayed, finishing her last sip of water.

Cottle shook his head, having lost his patience. "Dammit young lady, he just lost Kara and yesterday I had to tell him about you. Quit making that man suffer."

_I don't care about tomorrow  
I've given up on yesterday_

After giving him an indignant stare, she stood and left for her next few meetings. The delegates nearly ran her into the ground and at the end of her day, she decided that one nap on a certain couch could not hurt. She opened his hatch and stepped inside, dropping her light blue jacket on the coffee table and losing her shoes next to the couch as she curled up on one end and closed her eyes, lying on the cushions instead of over the armrest.

She had not noticed him sitting at his desk. Standing he walked over to her and sat down at the other end, watching her sleep for a moment. Gently he stroked her hair until she stirred. "Mm, that feels nice," she mumbled.

_Here and now is all that matters  
Right here with you is where I'll stay_

"Thought you might be hungry," he mentioned.

At that she instantly sat up and faced him. "I'm sorry Bill, I'd forgotten about dinner. I'm not even sure if I remembered lunch," she admitted.

"Then you're going to tell the Quorum that you need a day to yourself," he told her as he stood and patted her shoulder.

"And what if they disagree?" she questioned as she watched him retrieve two plates along with utensils and then two glasses of water.

"Then they can just frak off until they feel like being reasonable," he remarked.

_Everything in this world  
Every voice in the night_

She snorted, but it turned into the giggling that both of them took pleasure in. "Deities, I needed that. What do we have tonight?"

_Every little thing of beauty  
Comes shining thru in your eyes_

"I managed to fry the algae into small seasoned pieces. I've got dipping sauce too," he explained.

Despite the fact that they were eating algae, it was one of their better dinners. She complained more about the quorum and he complained about some of the rotated officers in CIC, as well as the new pilot recruits. Then plans for Baltar's upcoming trial rose and they discussed a few ideas. Laura wanted to clean up the dishes and spied a picture of Lee Adama on the book case as she headed back to the couch.

"How's Lee doing? He hasn't been by to give me a military update for a while," she inquired, watching Bill carefully for his reaction.

_And all that is you becomes part of me too  
'Cause all you do seduces me_

He sighed heavily and looked down at his feet for a second. "He's taken her death almost as hard as Anders. The only good thing is that at least Lee hasn't broken his leg. I don't know if he can pull through this. At least the trial's given him something to do, I don't like him working too closely with that lawyer," Bill admitted.

Laura put her hand on his knee so that the faced her. "I've known both of you long enough to know that you will all pull through. The scars will stay with the memories, but both of you will survive," she conveyed with a warm smile. Her eyes met his and she reached out with her other hand to touch his face.

"I'm glad one of us is sure of something," he expressed.

_This is probably going to hurt, but I need to ask this_. "How are you holding up?" she probed.

He looked into the depths of her eyes, memorizing her face. _How can you ask me that? Did you really just ask that? What am I going to do without you? Right now the thought of losing you is more painful than being shot_. Both of his hands framed her face and he kissed her forehead.

Then he pressed his forehead to hers. "I'd be a hell of a lot better if you weren't sick."

She took a deep breath, incidentally breathing in the scent of spice, metal, wool, and him. "Me too," she admitted. _Don't you dare do anything out of pity for me. Maybe I should listen to Jack and just tell you the rest of this_, she mused.

_I'm tired of looking for the right time to tell you. I think it's time we really talked_, he decided.

She moved back from him and stood. Fearing that she would leave, he quickly rose and grasped her hand. "I was going for the water," she mentioned with a smirk.

He nodded and walked over to lock the door. When she raised an eyebrow he replied, "We've got a lot to discuss and we don't need interruptions."

The cool water ran down her throat. "I quite agree," she stated.

He watched her as she seemed perfectly comfortable, perched on the edge of his desk. He sat in the chair and looked up at her. "I let the wind out of your sails when I told you we had certain responsibilities," he began.

She smiled and lightly rested a hand on his shoulder. "Yes you did, sir, but I still got a smile out of you by the end of it," she tossed back.

He squeezed her hand for a moment. "I should never have said that. All I seem to do with you is waste time. Even on New Caprica, I didn't' tell you anything of consequence," he pursued.

"Sometimes everyone needs to waste time for a while. I thought it was called relaxing," she commented.

He shook his head. "I should've told you how much I missed you."

"You're not the only one at fault there," she responded.

"That's not the point. I wanted to tell you-" she did not let him finish.

Standing, she crossed her arms and back up a few feet. "Don't you tell me things out of pity!"

He sighed heavily and neared her. "It's not about pity. It's about telling you now instead of putting it off for another day," he explained.

Dropping her shoulders, her arms uncrossed and she looked at him expectantly. "Alright, just what would you tell me?"

Taking her hands in his, he rubbed small circles on the backs. "I should've been there to greet you personally when you came back from New Caprica. I should've told you that if you'd built the cabin I would've settled with you. I should've taken you back with me to _Galactica_ personally instead of just offering you 'one of my beds' when your ship was hit. And when you were in my bed, I should've joined you," he told her, his voice becoming more gravely.

Not used to having him tell her so much about what had gone on in his head, she blushed. After a moment, she smiled boldly. "You think you're the only one with a list? I should've kissed you on New Caprica. I should've told you sooner about Hera. I should've taken you up on the offer of using one of your beds. And when I was in your bed, I should've shut up about Gaius Frakking Baltar and dragged you down to join me."

After they both exchanged mischievous grins, he spoke. "You're staying on _Galactica_ tonight."

Worry flashed in her eyes. "But Bill, what about the press? I can deal with the Quorum, but the press will start rumors-"

"The press can frak off too," he answered.

She was not satisfied. "But what about-"

"I will be damned if I let them run you into an already too early grave by pestering you. You deserve some excuse for a personal life, and I refuse to waste any more time pretending that I don't love you." He had said it before he realized it. Looking at her, he feared rejection and was pleasantly surprised by her saucy smile.

_And if I should die tomorrow  
I'd go down with a smile on my face_

"I think that will be my new favorite speech. You've taken it upon yourself to keep an eye on me, and then it became something more. I'm tired of letting people who have another sixty years ahead of them try to rule the time that I have left. My time is still my own to use. I have hours like everyone else who works, and it's no one else' business if I'm in a relationship with you because I love you too," she admitted. Without another word, he leaned forward and captured her lips with his.

_  
I thank God I've ever known you  
I fall down on my knees  
For all the love we've made_

His hands left hers and gravitated to the small of her back as her hands rested on his chest. She moaned as he deepened the kiss. They pulled back to breathe, each flushed and grinning shyly. The line had most definitely been crossed, but neither had any plans to go back any time soon. Lips finding lips again for ardent kisses, hands seemed to have a mind of their own as his roamed over her back and hers raked through his hair.

_Every sigh in the night  
Every tear that you cry_

She slid one hand down his jacket and unfastened the buttons almost as quickly as he could have. His hand shook slightly as he undid the small buttons of her blouse. His mouth found her neck and collarbone, producing gaps of pleasure from her. She shivered and her lips sought his for a searing kiss. Hands roamed again, each divesting the other of the remaining clothing. Then he gently picked her up and carried her to his rack.

_Seduces me seduces me_

"Just so you know," his voice was rough with passion as he set her down, "this is not out of pity."

_All that you do , .. Seduces me_

She smirked and dealt him a sultry look. "I figured that," she responded before kissing him again, letting the fire under her skin take over as he joined her on the bed.

Bill's alarm clock buzzed, followed moments later by his phone. Laura stirred next to him and pulled closer. I guess that wasn't a dream after all, he mused as he picked up the phone. "Adama," he paused and tried to see if she was awake enough. "Can you call back in twenty minutes, Tory? Thanks."

Laura stretched and sighed. "Is it morning already?"

"Unfortunately. We should probably be getting up, since we both have a long day ahead of us," he stated, though neither of them moved.

"You're right, and I need to call Tory and explain myself, at least to some extent," she mentioned.

They left the bed reluctantly and took quick separate showers. After dressing, she sighed and looked down at her clothes. "I should've thought to hang these somewhere," she remarked as she tried to smooth out some of the wrinkles.

"If anyone asks, you did but they fell off the hangers in the middle of the night as you were staying in the guest quarters," he suggested.

She called Tory and mentioned the guest quarters, explaining that she would be back on _Colonial One_ soon. It was still early and he was able to walk her to a Raptor without drawing too much attention. They spoke on the way back to the president's ship. "What now, Bill?" she probed.

He grinned and faced her. "Now we find as many ways as we can to schedule your meetings on_ Galactica_. We can have dinner together and schedule it as a late briefing."

"But there's nothing brief about it," she commented as she raised an eyebrow.

He snorted. "Technicalities." Before the Raptor's door opened, he pulled her close to him. "I meant everything I said last night," his voice rumbled.

"So did I," she added, turning to kiss him soundly. "I want to spend as much time with you as I can."

"We will," he relayed, kissing her passionately.

They broke apart and she wiped he lipstick off his face. "So say we all," she remarked before exiting the Raptor.

"So say we all," he stated quietly as he turned back to the controls, plotting his next idea for making the algae into something edible.

Fin………………………………………………..


End file.
